When we start something new, square one is just the beginning.  It’s an exciting place.  Full of possibilities.  It’s where we stand looking out to that bright future ahead of us.  It’s pure energy pushing us forward to take the next step.  I don’t step.  I leap into the unknown.  And for a while everything is as I thought it would be.  My vision of this future is exactly as I pictured.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t last.

Soon I find myself lost in the wilderness I’ve created.  Desperately looking for something to hold on to.  I start focusing on the practical elements and lose sight of the vision I created.  I become all-consumed by decisions.  Should I create a Facebook group, business page, or just use my personal page?  What should my blogs be about and when should I publish them?  Is networking worth my time and effort?  I become stuck.  Not making progress.  And then I notice that something isn’t quite right.  So, rather than exploring this, I step back.  Slowly.  Gradually returning to square one without even realising that’s what I’m doing.

I connect with my vision again.  The excitement builds again.  I leap forward.  And it all happens again.

Each time I return to square one, I remain there for a longer period.  Until I just stay there, in this almost euphoric state.  Confident in my vision and comfortable where I am.  Inaction becomes the norm and my happy place.  I know how this works.  I feel good, and I can talk about the future.  Pretending progress is being made.  I repeat the same messages and each time the flow becomes more natural.  Fooling others as much as I fool myself.  We all believe I’m stepping forward, constantly moving closer to achieving my vision.

But underneath it all, I know I’m lying. I realise I’m missing something.  That feeling something isn’t right needs to be explored.

I’m ready.

I observe my focus, recognising what my mind connects with and where it keeps returning.  I pay attention to my emotions, and begin to notice what’s really exciting me.  I stop forcing the issue and simply exist.  It’s uncomfortable.  For the first time square one becomes difficult.  I want to leave it, but it still comforts me.

I start making connections between what I’m experiencing and all those pieces of information I’ve received over time.  I listen to the insight people share and what I find online.  Sometimes we just need to hear things several times before they’re finally understood.  And suddenly there’s a spark.  My vision shifts.  Ideas come to life.  That energy returns to square one.

I step forward.