This is an approach I developed based on my personal experience, and knowledge gained through courses and general research. Here’s a little insight to how I think of inner selves.
When we were born we existed as our true self. As we went through childhood, we had experiences that we did not have the resources to understand or respond to. This led to us disconnecting from, or disregarding, parts of our true self in an effort to cope. At this point our true self became our aware ego that is able to observe our experience objectively. At the same time these disconnected and disregarded parts of us became our inner selves. I believe that by not listening to or engaging with our inner selves, we’re essentially turning our backs on ourselves.
My inner selves work combines all the tools and techniques I have access to. It supports individuals in reconnecting their aware ego to their inner selves and thereby re-establishing their true self. In other words, re-establishing their identity.
Who is it for?
Everyone I’ve worked with using this technique has had deep realisations that have supported them in making positive changes to their lives. This approach tends to be most suited to individuals who are able to trust their experience (mind and body) and share this without applying a filter. It can help individuals to:
- Better understand what they really want from any situation or person
- Resolve internal conflicts and make decisions more easily
- Develop a better sense of who they are and be able to clearly communicate this
- Be more considered in their communications and response to others
- Develop more fulfilling relationships by first meeting their internal needs
My inner selves approach tends to be quite directional to begin with, supporting my client to identify and engage with their inner selves. As sessions progress, I’ve found that clients are often able to lead more in managing interactions with their inner selves. My role then shifts to that of a facilitator and observer, ensuring that my clients are supported in their work, and bringing awareness to any elements that may have been missed.
If you’d like to learn more about this technique, I gave a talk for Animas Centre for Coaching that takes the audience through my thinking and how they can specifically use this approach in coaching.