We all need a little support from time to time.  That may be what led you here.  If it is, let’s start how we mean to go on, with a question.  What will support you the most now?

HOW I ENGAGE WITH MY CLIENTS

As an Integrative Coach & Hypnotherapist, I meet my clients where they are, and help them get to where they want to be.  We move fluidly through the challenges they bring, and I employ a variety of techniques to support in identifying the best approach for each client.  My adaptability and open mindset means we’ll always find a way forward.  Every session creates an opportunity to explore, learn, and make progress, all in an effort to achieve your ultimate outcome.

My inner critic loves to ask me questions. He has My inner critic loves to ask me questions.  He has an incredible way of keeping me in my head, and going around in circles.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
He has access to a variety of options including...
“What’s the point in doing this?”
“Ooo, should you say that?”
“Erm, was that the right thing to do?”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
However, his absolute favourite is using a how-question on repeat, similar to...
“How are you going to do that?”
“How will that help?”
“How else might you approach this?”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s a rather special approach, as it sounds like he’s trying to help me figure things out.  Questioning me so I can deliver my best every time.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Except he’s not.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
All he’s doing is taking me on a merry little journey, where I think I’m making progress, and all we’re doing is looping back to the start.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That’s because “how?” can be an incredibly debilitating question, hidden behind the premise of exploration.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This is particularly true when we’re at the ideas and development stage.  Asking someone how they’re going to do something, when they’re only just figuring out what they may be interested in, can stop them in their tracks.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It feels like we need to take action before we know what we’re doing.  Which is a tricky to say the least.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My inner critic and I have had a little chat over this one.  I’m keen for him to keep using his superpower, and we’ve agreed that he’ll do this when he feels I’m ready take action (not when I’m playing with ideas).
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
He doesn’t always get it right.  I sometimes get sucked in.  We’re learning together.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Am I the only one?  Or does your inner critic have a superpower that could be put to better use?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Nishe x
Nope, not looking. I’m not going to look at wha Nope, not looking.  I’m not going to look at what others are doing.  I’m not comparing myself.  I’m staying in my lane, doing my thing.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
OK, so that’s not completely true.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’m definitely looking.  I love seeing what others do.  They spark ideas in me.  They challenge my norms.  I’m encouraged to go beyond my boundaries.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am comparing what I do, not who I am.  What do they do that could improve my approach?  What am I not yet doing that I could learn?  Could we work together on a project or two or more?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Definitely not staying in my lane.  If the exit to a new direction is attached to another lane, I’m checking it out.  My lane sometimes goes too slow or too fast and I need to change it up.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am being true to me.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I learn from others.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I don’t have all the answers, but a whole lot of them already exist if I’m willing to see them.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What are you missing by not having a look?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Nishe x
I sometimes feel that when I share my perspective, I sometimes feel that when I share my perspective, I also need to share an alternative.  That if I only provide one way of seeing the world and this isn’t aligned to my audience, they will shout me down.  And what I’m offering will be lost forever.

So, rather than let anyone else diminish my thoughts, I do this for them.  I lessen the impact of what I’m sharing by trying to provide a balanced perspective.

In doing so, I achieve something unexpected.  I also diminish the person I am by restricting myself.  By holding back.  By not owning my truth.

I don’t believe I have all the answers (although I’ve learnt to speak with confidence that belies this fact). Perhaps that’s why I sometimes struggle to only share the view I hold.

I sometimes feel that others know more than me and therefore I should defer to their greater wisdom.

In all honesty, it doesn’t really matter what creates this, the impact remains the same.  My voice gets quietened, and at worst, lost.

So, I’m practising something different.  Not only am I now speaking up, I’m always doing my best to only share a single perspective.  One thought.  And I’m creating space for others to offer the alternatives.  I’m practising being ready to engage and explore.

I’ve always been open to change, and now I’m becoming more able to grow in the moment.  It means I continually develop further into the person I am always meant to be.

So where my fear of judgement held me back.  Now my excitement for growth and development spur me on.

What gives you the energy to show up as you?

Nishe x
My inner critic was a sneaky piece of work. He (y My inner critic was a sneaky piece of work.  He (yes, he) knew just how to take me off track and into a space of immobility.  His voice was louder than any other I could hear, and he refused to be ignored.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For decades I followed popular guidance on how to deal with inner critics.  I told him to go away.  He’d hide and then come back.  I tried to ignore him.  He’d get louder.  I responded in kind and argued with him.  He’d attack me more viciously.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There was no escape.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And there-in lies the solution.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Instead of trying to escape, what if I engaged differently?  What if I actually listened and paid attention to what he was trying his best to communicate?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s not the easiest thing to do.  Especially when he’s hurting me.  But it was something I’d never tried before.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For the first time, he had my full attention, and all I was doing was listening.  I didn’t question any of it. I didn’t try to bring reason and logic (although, trust me a lot of it was non-sensical the first time). I simple gave him room to speak his truth.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It took us a while, but gradually we both changed.  We built a relationship.  We started to watch out for each other.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Now he’s a fluffy, smiling, cheeky, playful, sometimes shy creature.  He’s ready to hold my hand when things get tough.  He knows when I hurt and is ready to soothe me. He’ll bounce ideas around with me, throwing in the odd cheeky comment to make the whole experience more fun.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Listening to our inner critics just makes sense to me.  They are a part of who we are.  Why would we ever choose to ignore ourselves?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When you’re ready give it a go x
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
PS:  if you have any questions about this, drop them in the comments below or feel free to send me a DM.
It took me a while to learn that it’s OK to spea It took me a while to learn that it’s OK to speak up and say what’s on my mind.  Or maybe, more accurately, to unlearn being quiet and simply following others.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I don’t think I’m unique in this, as I often support my clients in standing up for themselves by speaking their truth.  I do feel that we forget that we would chatter away without concern as babies, and even toddlers.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Yet at some point that changed.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Somewhere along the way we received a message that said it wasn’t OK.  And we learnt to not speak up in certain circumstances.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I used to think that my ideas weren’t worthwhile (I’d been ignored when I shared). I felt that people would judge me and I would be found lacking (I’d received comments that I was bossy). I believed I wasn’t good enough to have a voice in the room (I’d been told I had to earn a seat at the table).
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But that was then.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Now I ask myself some simple questions.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What am I not sharing that could help someone?  What am I hiding that is important to me?  What am I scared of happening when I do speak up?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This gives me a little space to regroup.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I want to be conscious of the people in the room.  I want to be kind and caring toward them.  I speak up with this in mind.  I share my truth from a place of wanting to develop what is already there.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That’s not always understood.  And that’s OK.  I now choose to speak up.  I want to bring value to the conversation, and that’s only possible if I share my truth.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s a personal choice and I’m here to cheer you on when you’re ready to speak up.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Nishe x
Sounds simple? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ That’ Sounds simple?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That’s because it is.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
No story today, just ☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
X
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
PS: if you don’t quite manage it, have another go ❤️
There have been several times in my life when I fe There have been several times in my life when I felt alone, as if no one had ever, or would ever, experience what was happening to me.  And that loneliness was incredibly heart-breaking.  It was my truth in those experiences, but it wasn’t THE truth.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So, how did I get past that feeling of loneliness?  The feeling that no one else ever understood what I was going through?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I started sharing it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
First in coaching, counselling, and therapy, and then with my friends and family.  And, that’s when reality hit and I found real comfort.  I wasn’t the only one.  Others understood my challenges.  They’d experienced something similar themselves, or knew of someone who had.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I became more connected as we discovered our shared experiences.  Loneliness didn’t stand a chance.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Sometimes in thinking we are alone, we create the reality to support that.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We could choose something else.  Perhaps a conversation?  For that reason, if anyone wants to speak with me, I’m ready to listen.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Good vibes coming your way x
I’m always amazed by how our life experiences ca I’m always amazed by how our life experiences can offer such incredible learning if we’re open to receiving it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I recently went for a walk in the local woods to test out if there would be enough mobile reception for a coaching call (both of us walking in separate locations). It all started so well.  I found the entrance to the woods, walked past the map confident that I knew which direction home was, and began exploring.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I soon discovered that there really wasn’t enough reception for a call longer than 15 minutes.  But perhaps there would be another bench, a little further along, where I could sit and not be disturbed.  So I continued.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And I continued.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When I figured I should soon reach an exit, and didn’t, I still continued.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Yep, somewhere along the way I’d managed to get lost 🤦🏽‍♀️ OK not lost exactly, I was still in the same woods, I just had no clue where in the woods.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So I kept going.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I found one exit.  Not the right one.  I asked for directions when I finally “bumped” into someone.  I met several friendly dogs (and their owners).
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Then I realised how this experience was similar to my whole life.  The challenges I face, the support I seek, the joy I discover.  It all happens along the journey, not at the end (that’s just another zoom call).
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I wasn’t really lost.  I’d simply gotten caught up in my thinking.  I’d forgotten how much fun can be had when I’m fully present, and not focused on getting somewhere.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I obviously made it out of the woods.  I hadn’t found somewhere for a coaching call.  Instead, I rediscovered the beauty of the journey.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Nishe x
Eek, finding flow is wonderful to experience, yet Eek, finding flow is wonderful to experience, yet it comes with its own challenges.  OK, challenges I’m really excited by.  I’m not going to pretend, this feels awesome, just some overwhelm to work through.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
About 3 or 4 weeks into lockdown in the UK, I had this sense of agitation that I needed to do something.  Probably brought on by so many people seemingly learning new skills, or just baking a whole lot of bread.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So, I signed up to a couple of online courses.  I started having more online conversations.  I started walking longer distances.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That’s when the ideas began to pop into my head.  And rather than leave them to mull away, I grabbed them and explored how to bring them to life.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
More than one grew legs and it felt like they could run away from me.  In different directions.  And I would have to chase them all down.  Definitely the overwhelm beginning to take hold.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I started wondering “how do I get this all done?”, “where do I focus my energies?”, and “can I handle this?”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That’s when I knew I was in my head too much.  So I sank into that feeling.  I recognised that it wasn’t one feeling, but many.  Fear my ideas wouldn’t work out the way I intended.  Frustration that it had taken so long for me to get to this point.  A little imposter syndrome saying who am I to even think I can do this.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
As I saw each part and felt each emotion, the overwhelm diminished and I was able notice that I have capacity for so much more.  The only question I need to ask myself is ”What do I get excited and inspired by?” If it’s what I’m doing then keep going, and remember to take time off as I need it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What I realised is that overwhelm behaves in the way it feels.  It’s over-loaded with several different parts and can’t cope.  From now on, whenever I get that sense of overwhelm, I’m going to see what it’s made up of before it takes over.  It worked this time, there’s every reason it can work again.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I hope this experience helps someone out there.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Sending good vibes your way x
I was recently asked ”When was the last time you I was recently asked ”When was the last time you laughed out loud at yourself?"
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I knew the moment instantly.  I’d bought a new dress online and when it arrived I put it on and discovered it fit almost perfectly.  I then went round the house showing everyone and ended up doing a silly dance.  That’s when I laughed at myself.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I was so incredibly happy.  It wasn’t the dress.  Or that I could finally buy clothes online knowing they would fit (although that was a lovely feeling). It was the absolute silliness in the moment and the energy I created from it.  It was that others joined in my laughter and the energy in the space lifted instantly.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’m now going to grab hold of every one of for these laugh out loud moments.  They honestly feel amazing, and they're incredible to share.  It's almost impossible to be in the presence of someone expressing such joy without engaging in it ourselves.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So, if you find yourself ready to laugh out loud, but you're holding it in for whatever reason, please remember this.  Someone out there really needs to feel that joy, and you have the opportunity to share a little of yours.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Enjoy the laughter,
Nishe x
Given I’ve had some significant internal shifts Given I’ve had some significant internal shifts recently and am now 10.5kg lighter, this is definitely true for me.  I’m really proud of the physical weight I’ve lost, and I’m excited by the freedom I’ve gained from releasing the emotional weight.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The world we live in seems incredibly aware of what can be seen, yet dismissive of what is unseen.  I feel it is important to recognise that sometimes what appears on the surface is a representation of what is hidden.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This holds incredibly true for my weight.  For years I’ve been carrying around emotional weight.  To be specific, a kind of grief that I struggled to let go.  I’ve worked with skilled practitioners on different aspects. And on my own, beyond our sessions.  As the grief released, opportunities arose to release other experiences I had attached to it.  Including the over-eating.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Now, let’s be clear here, I’m not saying go see a practitioner, release some emotions, and then the weight will magically fall off.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am saying sometimes we need to work on what is hidden to make space to lose the physical weight more easily.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And the impact of all of that?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Well, it’s really quite simple.  I have no doubts about achieving my goal to lose 17kg and I’ll keep going until the end of the year (just in time for my birthday cake). That will be approximately 9 months of monitoring what I eat, exercising to support the weight loss, and weighing myself regularly.  Yes, that’s commitment.  Yet, this time it feels effortless.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The real bonus?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I move more easily and have greater freedom to keep exploring the world around me.  I have more energy to go after all the things I want in my life.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
To all of you on a weight loss journey, physical or emotional, keep going.  You’ll get there, and the rewards are truly worth your efforts.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Take care of you x
I remember the day my friend was surprised to hear I remember the day my friend was surprised to hear me say “I really love you”. It was a light expression, thrown into general conversation, but apparently I’d never said it at any point during the 8 years of our friendship.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I was shocked and a little heartbroken by that revelation.  This friend is so very important to me and I care for her, but as much as she knew that on some level, I had never said it to her.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
She told me that I’d changed and that she loved seeing this side of me.  The side that shared how I felt.  That allowed people in.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’ve discovered the great joy in sharing my love and affection with others.  Especially those moments they’re able to accept it wholeheartedly.  My relationships have deepened, and I’ve been able to share more of who I am.  It’s like an endless cycle of growth between us.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s incredibly beautiful to share our feelings with other people, especially those we are closest to, and it means so much to us all.  It feels amazing to express our truth openly, and it’s incredible knowing that others care for us too.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That’s real human connection.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So, with that in mind, who’s the next person to hear your “I love you”? I promise, no matter their response, they’d be pleased to receive it from you.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Nishe x